CHAPTER 46:

The Bible Says THAT?!

We've heard many times that the Bible is "the word of God".. And if God is perfect, then It should have no trouble saying exactly what It means, without a need for fallible humans to try to do a better job than God at explaining or interpreting what God means. So if the Bible is the word of God, let's take a look at just a few of the things God has to say. I've chosen the Protestant Bible, since I'm more familiar with those scriptures. But the Bible is not the only set of scriptures to contain teachings such as these.

The quotes below come from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible. When I believed as a teenager that the Bible was all God's inerrant word, these are the kinds of Bible verses that I would just gloss over. Or else I assumed that "God must have had a really good reason for that". - and then I glossed over them. Fortunately, I didn't take these verses to heart. But some people do.

When confronted with verses such as these, some folks say the Bible doesn't really mean what it says. But if the Bible came from a perfect God, presumably it states perfectly what God meant. And if the people who wrote the Bible got it wrong, God could have corrected it.

Genocide - Kill everyone in the world except Noah and his family

Genesis 7:23: "He blotted out every living thing that was on the face of the ground, human beings and animals and creeping things and birds of the air; they were blotted out from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those that were with him in the ark."

Kill the Midianites and keep their virgin women for yourselves

Numbers 31:14-18: "Moses became angry with the officers of the army, the commanders of thousands and the commanders of hundreds, who had come from service in the war. Moses said to them, ‘Have you allowed all the women to live? These women here, on Balaam's advice, made the Israelites act treacherously against the Lord in the affair of Peor, so that the plague came among the congregation of the Lord. Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known a man by sleeping with him. But all the young girls who have not known a man by sleeping with him, keep alive for yourselves."

But it's for your own good: what God said to the Israelites

Leviticus 26:27-29: "But if, despite this, you disobey me, and continue hostile to me, I will continue hostile to you in fury; I in turn will punish you myself sevenfold for your sins. You shall eat the flesh of your sons, and you shall eat the flesh of your daughters."

Take off those evil clothes

Deuteronomy 22:11: "You shall not wear clothes made of wool and linen woven together."

And if a woman who is not a virgin gets married....

Deuteronomy 22:13-14, 20-21: "Suppose a man marries a woman, but after going in to her, he dislikes her and makes up charges against her, slandering her by saying, 'I married this woman; but when I lay with her, I did not find evidence of her virginity.'
...If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman's virginity was not found, then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father's house and the men of her town shall stone her to death..."

God'll gitcha - and your kids - if you don't obey

Deuteronomy 28:58-61: "If you do not diligently observe all the words of this law that are written in this book, fearing this glorious and awesome name, the Lord your God, then the Lord will overwhelm both you and your offspring with severe and lasting afflictions and grievous and lasting maladies. He will bring back upon you all the diseases of Egypt, of which you were in dread, and they shall cling to you. Every other malady and affliction, even though not recorded in the book of this law, the Lord will inflict on you until you are destroyed."

That goes for Topheth, too

Jeremiah 19:6-9: "...therefore the days are surely coming, says the Lord, when this place shall no more be called Topheth, or the valley of the son of Hinnom, but the valley of Slaughter. And in this place I will make void the plans of Judah and Jerusalem, and will make them fall by the sword before their enemies, and by the hand of those who seek their life. I will give their dead bodies for food to the birds of the air and to the wild animals of the earth. And I will make this city a horror, a thing to be hissed at; everyone who passes by it will be horrified and will hiss because of all its disasters. And I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and all shall eat the flesh of their neighbours in the siege, and in the distress with which their enemies and those who seek their life afflict them."

God's morality toward those who don't obey

Ezekiel 5:5-6, 8, 10, 12-13: "Thus says the Lord God: This is Jerusalem; I have set her in the centre of the nations, with countries all around her. But she has rebelled against my ordinances and my statutes, becoming more wicked than the nations and the countries all around her, rejecting my ordinances and not following my statutes.
...Therefore thus says the Lord God: I, I myself, am coming against you; I will execute judgements among you in the sight of the nations.
...Surely, parents shall eat their children in your midst, and children shall eat their parents; I will execute judgements on you, and any of you who survive I will scatter to every wind.
...One-third of you shall die of pestilence or be consumed by famine among you; one-third shall fall by the sword around you; and one-third I will scatter to every wind and will unsheathe the sword after them. My anger shall spend itself, and I will vent my fury on them and satisfy myself; and they shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken in my jealousy, when I spend my fury on them."

Is this your idea of love?

Psalm 137:8-9: "O daughter Babylon, you devastator!  Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock!"

Kill those who insult God

Leviticus 24:13-16, 23: "The Lord said to Moses, saying: Take the blasphemer outside the camp; and let all who were within hearing lay their hands on his head, and let the whole congregation stone him. And speak to the people of Israel, saying: Anyone who curses God shall bear the sin. One who blasphemes the name of the Lord shall be put to death; the whole congregation shall stone the blasphemer. Aliens as well as citizens, when they blaspheme the Name, shall be put to death.
...Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel; and they took the blasphemer outside the camp, and stoned him to death. The people of Israel did as the Lord had commanded Moses."

Enslave them, kill them, take the women as booty

Deuteronomy 20:10-16: "When you draw near to a town to fight against it, offer it terms of peace. If it accepts your terms of peace and surrenders to you, then all the people in it shall serve you in forced labour. If it does not submit to you peacefully, but makes war against you, then you shall besiege it; and when the Lord your God gives it into your hand, you shall put all its males to the sword. You may, however, take as your booty the women, the children, livestock, and everything else in the town, all its spoil. You may enjoy the spoil of your enemies, which the Lord your God has given you. Thus you shall treat all the towns that are very far from you, which are not towns of the nations here. But as for the towns of these peoples that the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, you must not let anything that breathes remain alive."

Sticks and stones

Numbers 15 32-36: "When the Israelites were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the sabbath day. Those who found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses, Aaron, and to the whole congregation. They put him in custody, because it was not clear what should be done to him. Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘The man shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him outside the camp.' The whole congregation brought him outside the camp and stoned him to death, just as the Lord had commanded Moses."

Would you do this?

Deuteronomy 13:6-10: "If anyone secretly entices you—even if it is your brother, your father's son or your mother's son, or your own son or daughter, or the wife you embrace, or your most intimate friend—saying, ‘Let us go and worship other gods', whom neither you nor your ancestors have known, any of the gods of the peoples that are around you, whether near you or far away from you, from one end of the earth to the other, you must not yield to or heed any such persons. Show them no pity or compassion and do not shield them. But you shall surely kill them; your own hand shall be first against them to execute them, and afterwards the hand of all the people. Stone them to death for trying to turn you away from the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery."

So you better believe

II Chronicles 15:13: "Whoever would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, should be put to death, whether young or old, man or woman."

Kill your daughter

Judges 11:30-32, 34-35, 39: "And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said, ‘If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return victorious from the Ammonites, shall be the Lord's, to be offered up by me as a burnt-offering.' So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them; and the Lord gave them into his hand.
...Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah; and there was his daughter coming out to meet him with timbrels and with dancing. She was his only child; he had no son or daughter except her. When he saw her, he tore his clothes, and said, ‘Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low; you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.'
...At the end of two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to the vow he had made."

Would this EVER be moral?

Deuteronomy 3:3, 6: "So the Lord our God also handed over to us King Og of Bashan and all his people. We struck him down until not a single survivor was left.
...And we utterly destroyed them, as we had done to King Sihon of Heshbon, in each city utterly destroying men, women, and children."

Witch hunts

Leviticus 20:27: "A man or a woman who is a medium or a wizard shall be put to death; they shall be stoned to death, their blood is upon them."

Blasphemers, too

Leviticus 24:16, 23: "One who blasphemes the name of the Lord shall be put to death; the whole congregation shall stone the blasphemer.
...Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel; and they took the blasphemer outside the camp, and stoned him to death. The people of Israel did as the Lord had commanded Moses."

Kill your family and friends

Exodus 32: 27-29: "He [Moses] said to them, ‘Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, "Put your sword on your side, each of you! Go back and forth from gate to gate throughout the camp, and each of you kill your brother, your friend, and your neighbour."' The sons of Levi did as Moses commanded, and about three thousand of the people fell on that day. Moses said, ‘Today you have ordained yourselves for the service of the Lord, each one at the cost of a son or a brother, and so have brought a blessing on yourselves this day.'"

Kill, Kill, Kill !

Joshua 6:2, 16-17, 20-21: "The Lord said to Joshua, ‘See, I have handed Jericho over to you, along with its king and soldiers.
...And at the seventh time, when the priests had blown the trumpets, Joshua said to the people, ‘Shout! For the Lord has given you the city. The city and all that is in it shall be devoted to the Lord for destruction. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall live, because she hid the messengers we sent.
...So the people shouted, and the trumpets were blown. As soon as the people heard the sound of the trumpets, they raised a great shout, and the wall fell down flat; so the people charged straight ahead into the city and captured it. Then they devoted to destruction by the edge of the sword all in the city, both men and women, young and old, oxen, sheep, and donkeys."

And if someone works on the Sabbath...

Exodus 31:15: "For six days shall work be done, but the seventh day is a sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the Lord; whoever does any work on the sabbath day shall be put to death."

God gave slaves to Abraham

Genesis 24:34-35: "So he said, ‘I am Abraham's servant. The Lord has greatly blessed my master, and he has become wealthy; he has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, male and female slaves, camels and donkeys.'"

God's way of slavery

Exodus 21:2-6, 20-21: "When you buy a male Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years, but in the seventh he shall go out a free person, without debt. If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master's and he shall go out alone. But if the slave declares, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out a free person', then his master shall bring him before God. He shall be brought to the door or the doorpost; and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him for life.
...When a slave-owner strikes a male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies immediately, the owner shall be punished. But if the slave survives for a day or two, there is no punishment; for the slave is the owner's property."

Slavery is OK

Leviticus 25:44-46: "As for the male and female slaves whom you may have, it is from the nations around you that you may acquire male and female slaves. You may also acquire them from among the aliens residing with you, and from their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may keep them as a possession for your children after you, for them to inherit as property."

That darned Lincoln!

1 Peter 2:18-19: "Slaves, accept the authority of your masters with all deference, not only those who are kind and gentle but also those who are harsh. For it is to your credit if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly."

Be obedient slaves

Ephesians 6:5-8: "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as you obey Christ; not only while being watched, and in order to please them, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. Render service with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not to men and women, knowing that whatever good we do, we will receive the same again from the Lord, whether we are slaves or free."

C'mon slaves – stop complaining and be obedient

Titus 2:9: "Tell slaves to be submissive to their masters and to give satisfaction in every respect; they are not to answer back".

The Bible speaks out against many things, but never against slavery

Colossians 3:22: "Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, not only while being watched and in order to please them, but wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord."

Better be nice to your parents

Exodus 21:15, 17: "Whoever strikes father or mother shall be put to death.
...Whoever curses father or mother shall be put to death."

Shut up, you women!

1 Timothy 2:11-12: "Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent."

And obey your husbands!

1 Peter 3:1, 5: "Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives' conduct...
It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority of their husbands."

Women as equals?

1 Corinthians 11:3: "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the husband is the head of his wife, and God is the head of Christ."

One more time

Ephesians 5:22-24: "Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Saviour. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands."

Family Values

Isaiah 13:9, 16, 18: "See, the day of the Lord comes, cruel, with wrath and fierce anger, to make the earth a desolation, and to destroy its sinners from it.
...Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be plundered, and their wives ravished.
...Their bows will slaughter the young men; they will have no mercy on the fruit of the womb; their eyes will not pity children."

Slaughter the children, too

1 Samuel 15: 2-3, 7-8: "Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did in opposing the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt. Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.'
...Saul defeated the Amalekites, from Havilah as far as Shur, which is east of Egypt. He took King Agag of the Amalekites alive, but utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword."

Would you want your child to be taught this?

Hosea 13:16: "Samaria shall bear her guilt, because she has rebelled against her God; they shall fall by the sword, their little ones shall be dashed in pieces, and their pregnant women ripped open."

Kill everybody and take their land

Numbers 21:33-35: "Then they turned and went up the road to Bashan; and King Og of Bashan came out against them, he and all his people, to battle at Edrei. But the Lord said to Moses, ‘Do not be afraid of him; for I have given him into your hand, with all his people, and all his land. You shall do to him as you did to King Sihon of the Amorites, who ruled in Heshbon.' So they killed him, his sons, and all his people, until there was no survivor left; and they took possession of his land."

God kills Its own children - what kind of parent does that?

2 Samuel 24:15: "So the Lord sent a pestilence on Israel from that morning until the appointed time; and seventy thousand of the people died."

Kill babies and children - Does anyone honestly think this is moral?

Exodus 12:29: "At midnight the Lord struck down all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh who sat on his throne to the firstborn of the prisoner who was in the dungeon, and all the firstborn of the livestock."

Jesus' last words before dying

Mark 15:34 and Matthew 27:46: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

As you read these scriptures, does the phrase "God is love" leap to mind? One phrase that comes to my mind is "hard-hearted savagery". If this is the word of God,. then God meant exactly what It said. If God meant something different than what the Bible says, as some believers claim, then God has done a great job of saying things It doesn't mean. If you were trying to communicate the most important message there could ever be, you would, presumably, want to make sure people knew what it was.

Many people try to live by what the Bible says. After all, we've been told that the Bible is the eternal and inerrant word of God. If any of it is wrong, why would God not clearly point out that it is in error or that God has changed Its mind? Some of the situations in the above teachings could occur again. Is this the morality we want our children to be taught?

And why would God give Its message in Hebrew (the Old Testament) and Greek (the New Testament), languages that most people throughout history would not understand? Even if we understood those languages, we would not accurately understand what the Bible says unless we also happen to be experts in the history and culture of the times when those books were written. Because the meanings of some words and phrases change over time, and some words and phrases have no exact translation from one language to another. Even the experts in Hebrew and Greek disagree over some of the meanings of biblical scripture.

If God wanted us to understand Its message - which would presumably be the most important message ever - It could easily have come up with a universally understood language with which to communicate Its message. A perfect God would have known that without making Its meanings clear to us, we would wind up confused and ignorant to the point of fighting religious wars and otherwise wasting our lives by doing the wrong things.

I've focused on the negative aspects of scripture to show that it is dangerous and morally irresponsible to simply obey an authority. But there is also wisdom to be found in scripture. We just have to use our heads and hearts to figure it out. And since we have to decide what scripture should mean, then we don't need scripture to tell us what to think. We're already doing the thinking. At the end of the day, it's our responsibility, capability - and good fortune - to determine what our morality is.

"No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says;
he is always convinced that it says what he means."

- George Bernard Shaw

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"HUGS! SIGNED, JESUS"

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